Confessions...

Two of my Ohio friends have a wonderful blog where each week they post their confessions. I have to admit that I love reading their confessions. I've often thought about sharing my own confessions, as funny or not as they may be. Tonight, as I feel overwhelmed, I feel the need to confess lots of things on many different levels. And so it is that... I confess... that I am overwhelmed. For those of you who think I do it all... I don't. I fail all over the place. that I am exhausted. Seriously... days like today sleep evades me. that I overextend myself. Oftentimes I see wonderful and gorgeous swaps occurring on craft blogs ALL the time, and I wisely do not sign myself up to participate. It's not that I don't want to participate - it's that I know myself and know that if I do sign up to join in on the fun I won't get it done on time, or if I do get it done, i almost NEVER get it to the post office on time. And... so it is that I've WAY overextended myself for Silver Bella swaps this year. 10 swaps... what on EARTH was I thinking? I'm almost done with almost everything, but .... OH MY STARS and BANANAS... did I lose my mind or what? that my house is a disaster. that I suck at doing laundry. Rather... i ROCK at washing and drying... but SUCK at folding or putting away. that since the freezer defrost/death of 2009 - I have not restocked my freezer with pre-made dinners. Convenience dinners (read that as freezer meals from the grocery store) is my mainstay. that I love being a mommy way more than I thought I would. that being a mommy takes WAY more out of me than I ever thought it would. that I miss not having my parents closer WAAAAY more than I ever thought it would that I wish I had time to fly down to my parents and WAY more than I do. that I am really, very very much, looking forward to Silver Bella but ... that I am very very much dreading being away from my little man (and the big one too) for 4 nights. I just know he's going to take his first steps while I'm away... I can feel it and it is stressing me out that I might miss out on seeing that milestone. that I drink way more caffeine (diet coke, diet mountain dew, and sugar free Rockstar or Monster) than any one person should. that I have not lost the baby weight I thought I could "easily" lose. that my studio is a horrific disaster.. and it's getting worse as the days up to Silver Bella get closer. that as much as I am excited, I have not started packing for Silver Bella. At all. that I miss hanging out with my bestie, but that there is just no time at the moment. It's hard. that I update my Facebook page by Twitter, which is updated by texting from my phone, rather than hanging out on Facebook all day long (contrary to popular suspicion) that I know I said that I wouldn't let my son zone out on Sesame Street, but it is one hell of a blessing. LOVE Sesame Street. that I didn't know what the heck I was saying when I said I would "never" do things as a parent. Dude... sometimes you just do what you can to make it through the day. that I have WAY more respect for single parents now than I ever did before. We're making it with two parents.. BARELY. How on earth to single mom's do it with little kids? I don't get it. So there you have it... a few of my own confessions.

Do you ever have one of those days or...

Do you ever have one of those days or times where things start to click? Where maybe you felt confused or just discombobulated, and all of a sudden a little ray of light popped in and made things just a little clearer? I've been having those moments occur, on an infrequent basis but more commonly lately than in the past. I'm realizing things about myself, that I didn't before...   I want to simplify my life. I want to spend less money. I want to have less stuff. I want to make my home a refuge for my family in this crazy world. I want to have pieces I love, and pieces that I created idecorate my home. I don't have to be the best at everything - I don't even have to be really good. It's okay to be just okay. I want to have less obligation (or self inflicted obligation). I want to have a tidy (note I didn't say immaculate!) home. I want to be physically active - way more than I have been as of late. I want to do more with less - in all kinds of ways. I don't have to have (or want to have) a cookie cutter, catalog perfect house. I love to sleep in a warm bed (love my electric blanket!!). My thighs don't have to be incredible - I just have to learn to deal with them. I want to learn how to cook meals out of boxes and use canned sauces - I don't have to MAKE everything. I want to get more out of life. I want to enjoy more of my life.   All kinds of lights coming on my life... some have been trying to flip on for quite a while and I've been taping them down. I think it's finally time, and I'm finally ready to turn them on and let them shine.

Details Coming Soon!

Dust Bunnies...

image via Google) Obviously I haven't been a very good Blogger as of late. I think I may have taken the whole "blogging without obligation" thing a little too far. Today I have decided to finally clear out the dust bunnies from my blog and give it a complete makeover. It will most likely be in total disarray until I am finished, so if you are reading this and wondering why my blog looks like such a hot mess... there's your answer.  I've been out of it for so long, I didn't even realize that my website subscription had expired... I'm going to renew it, so be sure to bookmark www.heatherales.com as I'm also moving to another blog site provider. Motivation is a wonderful thing. I just hope I can keep it going...

Where Bloggers Create

Today is the grand day... Karen Valentine's Blog Party.... Where Bloggers Create.  And my computer card reader isn't working!!! AND... the cable I can use to connect my camera to my computer is missing!  So, I won't be able to share my photos until after work when I've acquired either a new cable or a new card reader.  Supper bummed because I have some GREAT photos to share!

testing

testing   testing the publish from google docs feature

Crazy Times... Sad Events

Man, the last few weeks have been hellacious! Seriously! I had the opportunity to attend a local art retreat (Paper Cowgirl) for a day at the end of June, and really enjoyed the classes I took. I participated in a few swaps, and brought home some incredible treasures.  Maybe it's karma getting me back for taking some time away for myself, but since then... it has been chaos around here. And, oftentimes wondering what's going to happen next. The Sunday after PC, Steve was oh so sick. Two days later, I was too. I stayed home from work (so not like me) and 3 hours into the day, Fred was sick too. Talk about misery. It took us the rest of the week to get over it. Later that week... the hard drive in my mac died. Totally, unrepairable, dead. All of the documents, photos, videos, etc that were on that drive are gone. Yes, I had a backup, but... it was erased due to other technical issues. The drive is actually going to go visit a drive doctor, but i'm not putting my hopes up that they'll be able to find or save anything. So, the good part of the story is that instead of replacing my computer, I put in a new kickin' hard drive and doubled my RAM. Wooo hooo - love the guys at Frye's Electronics in Irving. Saved me some serious dinero. Then the dishwasher died. Steve saved it. YAY! The next sad, and heartbreaking thing to happen is likely the worst of all. Steve's grandfather, Fredric Dempsey (who is also Baby Fred's namesake) passed away after a long fight with cancer. It's been hard on Steve, as he greatly looked up to and admired his grandfather. It wasn't until I read Grandpa's obituary that I realized how very much alike they are. Our hearts are hurting, (Steve's more than anyone's) but we know he's in a better place now. As if the above wasn't enough, the next issue we got to deal with was me. Somehow I managed to get a series of bites by what a local nurse thinks is a spider (but it could have been some kind of bug) that got my leg to swell up and get all ugly looking. The swelling is down, and the bites are looking SO much better (ironically they look like scrapes, but I don't know where it would have happened).  I'm likely going to have marks on my legs for a while, but i'll get over it. All of this fun fun stuff gets coupled with my new job stresses. I was given a promotion to work (which took me to a salaried instead of hourly pay), and our new team went live. So, as with any job there is an element of stress to overcome.  It's been a long couple of weeks! But, on the plus side, I got the sweetest gift in the mail from a  Bella. It came at a perfect time, when I was completely beat down by all of the events. (Please excuse the lack of editing... i haven't had a chance to install photoshop yet). Sweet, sweet Christina from Sweat Pea Ink sent me a Bella Kindness package. Inside were some wonderful treats and items that I'll be using soon in various art projects.  It was packaged So adorably, and I'm having a hard time finding a replacement for the box - as it is so perfect I want to pass it onto another Bella in return.  Christina, your package brought a huge smile to my face and warmed my heart when I truly needed it. Thank you so much for your kindness! Bella's be on the lookout - and be sure your address is in the address book! You never know when some kindness may be coming your way!